Happy Marriage

Our story begins when we were just a couple of dumb kids who fell in love.
We were High school sweet hearts who didn't even realize what was ahead of us. If you would have asked me at the time if I was going to marry Jeremy and have kids with him, I would have laughed so hard...
well, here we are.

Over the years, I have learned a tremendous amount of things; not only about myself but about the relationship we have built together as husband and wife. Sure, we fell in love very quickly and at a young age, but having those early years together built the beginnings of our foundation. Ask any architect or G.C. what is  the most important steps in constructing a building..
It's the foundation!
Without it, the structure would crumble.

Here's a Q and A about marriage and the tough stuff that comes with it. 

____________________________

Where did you first meet your spouse?
We started dating in high school. We went to different schools and had so many mutual friends. We actually grew up about 10 blocks from each other. We went to the same elementary school but i left the year he started at the school so he was friends with all my friends once i left.
Anyways, we bumped into each other later and recognized each other.
We got in contact and went on a great first date. We instantly clicked and realized how alike we were...the rest is history!
 
When did you get married?
We got married March 10, 2016 in Peoria, AZ. Is was a small quaint set up and we loved every minute of it.
 
How do you ensure that your marriage with last forever?
We live by a few important layers:
Communication
Love/Passion
Teamwork
Forgiveness
Trust
I believe if you have a strong understanding of each item, than your marriage is bound to last a lifetime. 
 
How do you and your spouse handle arguments?
I think it is important for couples to argue. I honestly don’t like the term ‘argue’ but the term discussion is more appropriate. We have had a handful of arguments that usually end with a resolution but we go through quite a performance before we get there. First, we disagree on something. When we each express our side of the disagreement and try to convince the other to switch sides...which rarely works. This goes on and on and on in a big circle. We then get more entrenched in our side and go round and round. Finally someone realizes that no one is going to ‘win’ and backs off. After about a 10-15 cool off break, we both realize that whatever it is we were arguing about is not worth it and we make up.
** Important to note that once you have already had an argument about something, you are not allowed to bring it up in any future arguments. It’s not helpful and will just cause more frustration.
 
When did you know you met “the one”?
I was not someone who dated a lot. Most of my girlfriends in school always had boys drooling over them. I was the funny awkward friend who had a lot of guy friends and not boyfriends. I think it is because I was really picky?? The handful of relationships I did have were VERY unhealthy. When I first met Jeremy, he had treated me like a girlfriend and not just a friend, which I had never really experienced before. He was kind, sweet and a real gentleman. He actually said "I love you" on our 6th date! I knew I found the one when I considered him to be my best friend and someone who shared similar life goals.
 
What advice would you give people who are dating?
1. Make sure you are with someone who shares similar life goals.
2. Make sure you have a great communication. Be able to talk to them without judgment.
3. Trust is key. If you need to check their phone, email, social media or have ever wanted them to take a lie detector test, I think there are more underlying issues going on that need to be looked at before you continue to get further into the relationship.
4. Not all relationships need to be approached with a “am I going to marry this person”. It's ok to date around and just enjoy finding the things you like and don’t like in a person. Sometimes this is a great way to create your checklist. You take good qualities and bad qualities and make it your goal to find someone who checks the boxes of your checklist.
5. Don’t rush! There is no time frame on when you have to fall in love and get married (if that is even something you want. Not everyone believes in the institution of marriage, which is just fine)! Take your time. You have plenty of it. 

How do you make your spouse smile?
I am good at remembers movie lines or song lyrics. When the timing is right, I will sneak in a movie or song quote into our conversation. It cracks him up every time. Jeremy is also extremely ticklish so that’s easy to get a laugh out of him.
 
What are things your spouse does for you that make you fall in love all over again?
At least once a week I get a long text from him telling me how much he appreciates what I do for our family and how much he loves me. Its simple but knowing how busy he is everyday, he takes the time to write out these amazing love texts. He also will buy me candy and coffee. I mean, who cant fall in love with someone who does that, right?
 
Did you have your dream wedding?
YES! It was small, intimate and exactly what we wanted. First off, OPEN BAR! Only close friend and family were in attendance. We had Italian food, great music and did a few of those cheesy wedding traditions (cupid shuffle, guarder toss, bouquet toss, silly cake cutting thing). We had such a great time that we left around 8:00p, got to our hotel, ordered a pizza and called it a night. It was perfect.
 
What are some things you wish you could strengthen with you marriage?
One thing I know gets under Jeremy’s skin is how I take his compliments. It is hard for me to really appreciate him telling me I look nice. If he gives me a compliment, I usual blow it off and say something like “yeah, right”. It’s hard but, sometimes I don’t believe it myself which is something that I need to figure...
 
What are some things you are proud of about your marriage?
After all these years of being together, I still get butterflies when I see him. He makes me feel sexy and wanted all the time and I was always afraid that would go away. We still feel like honeymooners and I have no doubt in my mind that we will always have this. I am proud of our communication we have. I can literally talk to him about ANYTHING! I think some people enjoy their privacy and choose to be a bit more reserved and I think that is great. Don’t get me wrong, everyone is different in how and what they share with their partner. But I am a gal who poops with the door open, has farting contests with my spouse and has talks to him about my period. Its like I have a girlfriend, therapist, best friend, and husband all in one person.
**We also never go to bed angry.
 
Is marriage what you thought it would be?
It honestly doesn’t feel too different from dating. The biggest thing is that I get to call him my husband instead of boyfriend or fiancé. I was also kind of excited to change my last name. Overall, marriage itself is what I thought it would be. We were already a great team; why not make us a legal team!
 
How are you and your spouse different?
We both have a different rhythm that is drumming inside of us. I have more of a laid back approach to things, where Jeremy has a faster beat and quickness about him. For us, it's good to have 2 very different people approaching 1 specific situation. Our end goal is the same, but how we get there is always different with Jeremy and I. I have a very artistic and creative fluid mind. Jeremy is very much a numbers and has a logical approach. He is an introvert and I am 100% an extrovert. I don’t fully agree that opposite attract, but I think for a marriage to last, you need to have a bit of diversity in the mix. 
 
How are you and your spouse similar?
We are both big planners. We really like to know the who, when, where, why and how of everything we do. It seems a bit crazy but it is a system that works for us. If things do not go as panned, it does cause a mini panic attack in us, but we have each other to keep our cools. We also have very similar sets of life goals. Before we even started dating we both had checklists of things we wanted to accomplish in our lifetime and we check off each other’s goals from start to finish. I think this is why we are compatible and have made such a great team. Plus, we have so many similarities: we like to EAT, we enjoy spending time together and we don’t ever really need a break. Some might say we depend on each other too much and that’s fine. I try not to let the things people say define my marriage.
 
Who is the leader in your marriage?
This can become a very complicated answer and can cause some couples to argue. We are leaders in specific situations. I wouldn’t say we have one leader. It all depends on what it is we are doing. Weird enough, I do all the plumbing, crafts, and anything that requires a power tool. It is something I enjoy doing and I am pretty good at it too. Jeremy is much better at harder labor tasks, financing, and getting some of our larger project done (insurance, medical, cars and things like this). Jeremy is also really great at cleaning and doing laundry. I hate to use this example, but if you think about a very misogynistic household with a man and wife, we have very reversed roles. I do “the man’s job” while Jeremy takes on a lot of the “woman’s job”. I obviously don’t believe that there are men and woman roles in the home but we tend to stick to what we know best. It just so happens we take on tasks that are not expected of us and we like it that way!
 
If your love story were made into a movie, what would be the title?
2 hearts who love, eat and fart
If I have to pick an existing title it would be:  I love you, man
 
Is there a topic that you and your spouse never talk about because it will cause an argument?
I wouldn’t say we have any ‘off limit topics’. Being together for so long, we have pretty much seen the good, bad and the ugly. There are a few hot topics that will cause us to have a conversation. One in particular is family. We each have bigger families with means there is always some kind of drama going on. We each love each other’s family, don’t get me wrong but there have been plenty of conversations around this topic. I think this is a big one for most couples because family is forever. There is no way around family haha.

Best advice is to remind yourself that your family (your house hold family) is what matters. Yes, there will be times when other family drama enters your home but just remember what’s most important. You can only control some much. Pick your battles and use your energy toward something else. If anything, use these situations as learning blocks to make your relationship even stronger.
 
How do you deal with major decisions with your spouse?
I believe most major decisions are obviously made together. One person should not be making those decisions. The most important quality I find really strengthens a marriage is your ability to listen. I’m not talking about hearing your partner, but actually listening and comprehending what they are saying. It is good to know what and why your partner feels ‘that’ decision is the best decision. If you disagree, it is important for your partner to hear you out and not get more entrenched in their side. Major decisions are usually made with a pros and cons approach. Does the decision make sense financially? Does the decision reflect your family’s needs? Asking yourselves these questions can help steer you in the right direction.
 
How long did you wait until you started bugging your spouse about getting married?
I started dating Jeremy in high school. We were together for a few years before I was certain that I would marry him. I think during our junior year of college I really started bugging him about getting engaged. I think most girls do this but, I would send him photos of rings I liked just to be annoying. He finally proposed the night we graduated from college. ​